Saturday, August 31, 2013

Wedding Etiquette Regarding Paying the Preacher

Planning a wedding requires a considerable amount of organization, including delegating financial duties to certain family members. One of the important things that needs to be taken care of is paying the preacher or wedding officiant for his services; following appropriate etiquette in this matter will ensure that the member of clergy is paid in a timely manner.

Clergyman Fee

    According to traditional etiquette, the groom is responsible for paying the clergyman fee. In most case, the groom sets money aside for this purpose once he and the bride make their selection for a wedding officiant. In some cases, the bride's father will offer to pay for the preacher, which is also acceptable. If the preacher performing the wedding ceremony is the regular priest or pastor for the bride or groom or is the family pastor, he may offer a discounted rate for services or may not charge the couple to perform the ceremony.

Amount of Fee

    It is usually appropriate to offer the preacher anywhere from $150 to $300 to perform the ceremony. This amount can be negotiable depending on how many duties the preacher is asked to perform, as well as the length of the ceremony. For instance, some couples may ask the wedding officiant to counsel them before the nuptials, say a special prayer or blessing that is not included in the traditional order of the wedding or to prepare additional readings for parts of the ceremony, such as the lighting of the unity candle or a heartfelt reading dedicated to the stepchildren of the couple.

When to Pay

    It is acceptable etiquette to offer the preacher his fee immediately after the ceremony has taken place. Some couples prefer to pay the preacher ahead of time and to offer additional money, similar to a tip, after the wedding. It is also appropriate to invite the wedding officiant to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding and to invite him to stay for the reception as a gesture of appreciation.

How to Pay

    The groom may choose to pay the preacher in the form of cash or a check and should extend additional thanks after the ceremony and reception have ended. It is also acceptable for the best man to pay the preacher after the ceremony by handing him an envelope. If any additional monies are given to the clergy for performing additional duties, it may be best to give this in cash. Contacting the church office will help clear up any confusion.

Gifts and Thank You Cards

    Sending a thank-you card to the clergyman is in keeping with proper etiquette; the note should be handwritten and addressed by hand, and can be sent to the clergyman's home or to the church office. While it is not mandatory to send a gift, it is certainly a nice gesture that will be greatly appreciated. Gifts such as flowers, candies or a fruit basket are appropriate. It is also ideal to include reprints of any wedding photos that include the preacher with the thank-you card.

One of the biggest parts of a wedding is the flowers that are included. There are flowers for the bouquets, flowers for the church, and flowers for the mothers, grandmothers, groom, and ushers, as well as centerpieces for the reception.

Something that should be taken into consideration when selecting the flowers to use in a wedding is that sometimes there are people who have allergies and may be affected by the scent of the flowers.

When you are choosing the type of flowers for your wedding, think about yourself and your attendants especially. Are there any sensitive noses The last thing that you will need on your wedding day Is to have yourself or one of your attendants having a sneezing fit in the middle of the ceremony.

Once you have chosen what type of flower you want to have for your wedding, the next thing is to decide on the colors. Usually the colors for bridesmaids and groomsmen will correspond to the colors of the bridesmaids’ dresses for the bouquets. But when it comes to the grandmothers and mothers flowers it may be a good idea to find out what color their dresses will be so their flowers will match.

So that there aren’t a lot of flowers left over from the reception, it’s not a bad idea to mark a chair and whoever sits in that chair gets to take home the centerpiece. This way the flowers can be enjoyed for longer than a day and you don’t have to worry about what to do with them.

Friday, August 30, 2013

One of the biggest focal points of a wedding reception is the beautiful wedding cake. That towering, flowering, blinding beautiful wedding cake with the two people standing on top, that the bride and groom cut and then feed to one another.

Although a lot of brides and grooms go with the traditional pound cake taste, it doesn’t have to be that way.

Flavor -

If you don’t go with the traditional pound cake taste for all of your layers, keep in mind that not everyone is going to like lemon or raspberry, or any other exotic flavors.

One popular alternative is chocolate chip cake. Another idea is to go with alternating chocolate and vanilla.

The top of your cake is traditionally saved and eaten on your first wedding anniversary. So choose the flavor that both of you will enjoy and make that your wedding topper.

Although a lot of cakes are purchased in a traditional bakery, there are a lot of supermarkets that make delicious cakes that aren’t as expensive.

If you are working on a budget, shop around for prices on wedding cakes and be sure to sample them. You may be surprised at what supermarkets can do.

If you have someone that has taken a cake decorating class and makes great cakes, you may find that they will do it as a wedding present and it will save you some money.

A wedding cake doesn’t have to be expensive to be delicious, and you can find plenty of money saving ideas when looking for your wedding cake.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

When most people think of a wedding, the things that they think about are the bride and groom, of course, the wedding party, the flowers and the wedding reception.

But there is a lot more to a wedding than that, and this is how others can be involved if the wedding party has been filled.

Guest Book Attendant

- This is one of the jobs that can be offered to a friend who wasn’t included in the wedding party but still wants to help. This person will encourage the guests to sign the book and leave a message for the couple if they wish. It may seem like a small job, but it’s important.

Bird Seed Bag Attendants

- Another job that is available to friends of the bride and groom is to give everyone bags of bird seed after the ceremony. This can be done by one or two people, depending on how many people are attending the wedding.

Scripture readings

- If the bride and groom are having a ceremony that includes a lot of scripture readings, this is another nice touch to the ceremony, and can make your friends feel like a special part of your day.

Car decorating

- This can be a perfect job for a couple of guys who aren’t ushers. They can go out to the bridal car and decorate it for the drive to where the reception is being held.

This is also a job that can be done by some of the ushers, who don’t want to stand around for the receiving line.
A day or two before your wedding, there is usually a wedding rehearsal and then a wedding rehearsal dinner. This is paid for traditionally by the groom’s family, and it’s when you will give your wedding attendants their gifts as a thank you for being in your wedding.


- As a rule, jewelry is a good idea for the ladies. If they have pierced ears, you can give them earrings. If their ears aren’t pierced, you can give them necklaces.

It’s always a good idea to give them something that they can wear on the day of the wedding to go with their dresses.


- For the men, it’s a little more difficult to choose an appropriate gift. If you can’t find something that will be appropriate for all of them, you can choose comparable but different gifts.

Beer steins, shot glasses, and other similar items can be used, or something else that will reflect their individuality.

Remember, when you are choosing your gifts that these are your friends and family, and that you want them to know that you have appreciated everything that they have done.

The wedding rehearsal dinner is a time for the wedding party to come together and have a good time before the wedding.

Enjoy yourself and have a good time with your wedding party. You are celebrating the fact that you are going to be getting married soon, and that you will be starting a new life together with you spouse.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Wedding Band & Engagement Ring Etiquette
If you've recently become engaged and will be planning your wedding soon, it's important to know how to wear your most cherished pieces of jewelry--your engagement ring and wedding band. Wearing the rings on the right fingers and in the right fashion will serve to inform the public of your engaged and marital status.

Wearing an Engagement Ring

    The etiquette associated with wearing engagement rings does not dictate that the ring has to be worn, or that it has to be worn at all times. However, most couples, especially those in Western society, feel as though the engagement is not "official" until a ring has been purchased, and the woman is wearing it regularly. Once the ring is purchased, it should be worn on the fourth finger of the left hand.

Selecting the Engagement Ring

    According to etiquette, it is the groom's responsibility to choose the style of the ring for his bride-to-be. However, many brides are now involved in the ring selection process, to ensure that the bride will enjoy the ring and want to wear it every day. If the groom's family wants to give a family heirloom to their son to present to his bride, this is acceptable; however, the bride-to-be does not have to accept the ring, and can choose to wear a ring that she and the groom have selected. It is also appropriate for the bride to accept the heirloom ring and change the setting to fit her preference.

Cost of Rings

    It is generally believed that the groom is supposed to spend at least two month's salary on the ring. This idea, however, stemmed from a marketing campaign from DeBeers during World War II in order to get grooms to make timeless purchases for their wives. However, the groom should consider his income and buy the most attractive ring for his bride based on what he can afford.
    The wedding band is often less expensive than the engagement ring, but it is also common for grooms to buy the wedding band and engagement ring as a set. The engagement ring is usually the ring with the diamond in a setting, and the wedding band, which can also be adorned with diamond accents, is presented to the bride during the ring exchange portion of the ceremony. The bride is responsible for purchasing the wedding band for her husband, and gives it to him during the ring exchange. In Western society, men generally do not wear engagement rings, but the bride is free to purchase an engagement ring for her husband, or to request that he wear the wedding band as an engagement ring until the ceremony.

Wedding and Engagement Rings

    After a woman is married, it is proper etiquette for her to wear the engagement ring on top of her wedding band. During the ceremony, it is appropriate to switch the engagement ring to the right hand. Once the groom has placed the wedding band on the bride's hand, she can place the engagement ring on the same finger. While most women continue to wear both their wedding bands and engagement rings after the wedding, it is only recommended that the wedding band be worn when in public to clearly denote the woman's marital status. The man should wear his wedding band in the same fashion.

Returning Engagement Rings

    If an engagement is broken for any reason, it is proper etiquette for the bride to return to the ring to her former fiance. The only exception to this is if the ring is an heirloom from the bride's family. It is also appropriate for the formerly engaged woman to return any valuable gifts to her former fiance--he should return any gifts that the would-be bride has given him during the relationship that are of value as well.
Etiquette for Late Wedding Presents
According to Amy Vanderbilt, "Only a great fool or a great genius is likely to flout all social grace with impunity, and neither one, doing so, makes the most comfortable companion." Following the rules of etiquette is a way of ensuring that others are always comfortable in your presence. If you are knowledgeable about appropriate gift-giving and wedding etiquette, it is much easier to avoid misunderstandings, stress and offense.


    Etiquette dictates that wedding presents are optional expressions of affection. The scale and cost of the happy couple's nuptials have no bearing on whether a gift should be given or on the amount a gift should cost. Assuming that the bride and groom follow the conventions of etiquette, you will never be asked why you did not give a present or whether your present is late, as that is the ultimate in rudeness.

One-Year Argument

    The traditionally held belief is that a wedding gift can be given up to a year after the event. While this may be a rule that many follow, it is considered bad form to wait so long.

Three-Month Argument

    According to the Emily Post Institute, "Guests do not have a year in which to send a gift. The gift should be sent within three months of the wedding, at the outside."

Advance Notice

    If you know in advance that your present will be late for a valid reason, such as financial hardship, it never hurts to explain the situation to the bride or groom. That way the couple will know you are thinking of them and will be even more appreciative of your gift when it does arrive.

How to Give Late

    Although it is preferable to give in a timely manner, "It's never too late to send a gift," according to Indeed, a belated present is usually a pleasant surprise for the recipient. However, as Miss Manners reminds us, "People do not like to hear that someone was too busy or too forgetful to think of them." Skip the lengthy apology and focus on finding the couple a memorable gift.
    Many registries remain open for a year after the wedding, providing guidance to the belated giver. Remember to ask the couple if their registry is up-to-date prior to purchasing, to avoid buying a duplicate item.
    If more than a year has passed since the wedding and you still wish to give a gift, consider sending the not-so-newlyweds with an anniversary present instead.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Wedding Gift Check Etiquette
Giving money is a great wedding gift if you are in a rush and unsure of what to give. If the bride and groom do not have a gift registry, a check is usually a good idea, especially if you are not that close to the couple. As with all gifts and wedding behavior, there is etiquette to giving money as a gift, but luckily it is rather straightforward.

Cash or Check

    In all situations, avoid giving cash bills as a wedding gift, as it can be considered tacky and appear rushed or insincere. Checks are the better alternative, and they also allow for the name of the giver to go with the monetary gift all the way to the bank. They are also cleaner and more presentable than a giant wad of cash.

Before the Wedding

    If you are giving the check before the wedding, write it out to either the bride or the groom, depending on who you are closest with. Don't write the bride's married name if it is before the wedding as there may be a chance that she decides to keep her maiden name.

At or After the Wedding

    For checks presented at or after the wedding, write it out to both the bride and the groom using their married names, or individual names if the bride will not be taking her husband's last name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Daren Smith" or "Mr. Daren Smith and Ms Cynthia Erickson."


    As checks are gifts of convenience, etiquette requires that they are written for significant amounts of money. Keep the check increments to one hundred, that is, $100, or $200 or $500. Never write a wedding check for $20. The amount you give will depend on your situation and relationship to the couple. To be safe, write it for $100.


    There are many check-sized gift cards available for purchase at greeting card stores and supermarkets. Make sure the card is wedding appropriate and comes with a white envelope. If you are feeling creative, consider adding scrapbooking embellishments to the envelope such as flowers, wedding bells or a bride and groom. Write the recipients' names on the envelope in neat calligraphy, if possible, and insert the card with the check into a postal-appropriate mailing envelope.
Wedding Invitation Envelope Etiquette
Most formal wedding invitations have an outer and an inner envelope. Some contemporary, less formal invitations have only the outer envelope. In her book about wedding etiquette, expert Anna Post advises that you must hand-write the envelopes. This can be time-consuming and is best done by someone with neat handwriting. If you don't have the time or ability to address them by hand, seek help from your family or bridesmaids or hire a calligrapher.

Outer and Inner Envelopes

    The outer envelope is the one that the Post Office will see. Address it with the full names and address of the recipients. Use only the names of the couple or person you are inviting, not children or other guests. Don't abbreviate first names, cities or states.
    Print the return address on the flap. The return address should be the address of those who are hosting the wedding. Do not add a name with the return address on a formal invitation.
    The inner envelope is addressed as if it were being hand-delivered. No address is necessary, and you can list the names of the invited guests on this envelope. Write "and guest" to indicate if the invitee is welcome to bring a date. List the names of children, only if you wish to invite them, in order of age from oldest to youngest.
    When there is no inner envelope, list the names of all intended guests on the outer envelope or write them in on the response card.


    For formal invitations, use the abbreviated titles "Mr.," "Mrs. "Ms.," and "Dr." and address a single woman as "Miss." Write out a husband and wife as "Mr. and Mrs. Robert Harris" or "Mr. and Mrs. Susan and Robert Harris," as the husband's first name must always be placed next to the last name. If the wife has kept her maiden name address her first ("Ms. Susan Andrews and Mr. Robert Harris.") Don't use "Mrs." even though she is married.
    Place a doctor's name before the spouse, regardless of gender. Follow the rule of the husband's name next to the surname if both spouses are doctors ("Drs. Susan and Robert Harris"). Another option is to address the envelope to "The Doctors Harris."
    Spell out "The Reverend" and "The Honorable" when addressing clergy and judges. Follow the same rules for spouses as when addressing doctors.
    Place a comma before "Jr. or Sr.," but not before a roman numeral that follows a last name.
    Don't use "esq." when addressing an invitation to a lawyer as this is used for business and not for formal invitations.
    Write out the titles of military personnel or government officials.

The Response Card Envelope

    Response cards get the same personal touch as the invitation. They should be handwritten. Print the full name and address of the person who will be receiving these cards and creating the final list of guests to attend.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Wedding Etiquette for a Stepmother
When planning a wedding, including the ceremony and the reception, the scenario becomes a bit more complicated when either the bride or groom's father has remarried, bringing a stepmother into the mix. While it's typical for the stepmother to be included in the wedding plans and events, it's imperative she understands her place, and exercises proper etiquette.


    It is common tradition for both the mothers of the bride and the groom to tailor their outfits according to the bride's wishes. Sometimes they are coordinated with the wedding colors of the attendants. The bride and groom should decide if the stepmother is to be considered when planning what the mothers will wear. This is usually based on the relationship the stepmother has with her stepchild.
    The stepmother should not attempt to outshine either the mother of the bride or the mother of the groom in her choice of clothing.


    Who sits where at the wedding can cause a problem, if all the family isn't on friendly terms with the stepmother. Etiquette dictates that the mother of the bride or groom should be seated in the front row on the designated side of the church with her spouse. The father and stepmother should be seated in the row just behind the mother.
    The reception can become trickier, since the guests are expected to be conversational while dining, unlike the wedding ceremony, where guests simply sit and watch. If there is a head table that includes the parents, the seating arrangements should be dictated by the bride and groom, and it is expected that everyone will cordially heed their wishes.
    If all parties are on speaking terms, the stepmother may be included at the head table. This eliminates the scenario of the father sitting without his spouse, as well as the possibility of hurt feelings.
    Another alternative is to seat each set of parents at separate tables, and to limit the head table to just the bride and groom and their attendants.


    The bride and groom should decide whether or not to include the stepmother in the wedding photos. If all parties involved are friendly, it will be perfectly natural to have her take part in the photos. If relations are particularly strained, arrange for a photographer's assistant to discreetly request certain people to appear for certain photos as they are taken. This makes the entire process less exclusive, and isn't so obvious as to who is and isn't included in the photos.
    Remember that it might mean a great deal to the father of either the bride or the groom to have a professional shot taken with the happy couple as well as his own spouse.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Wedding Etiquette and Divorced Parents
When planning for a wedding where one or both of the couple have divorced parents, you're going to have to take a few precautions into account when organizing the big day. It helps if the parents in question still get on, but if they don't, it's best to rely on conventional etiquette as much as possible to avoid causing any offence and to keep the day running smoothly and without any big arguments.

Service Invites

    Convention dictates that on a wedding invite, it's the bride's parents who are listed, since they're the ones giving the bride away. In the case of divorced parents, these names appear at the top, only with the father's name on the line below the bride's mother's, as described by the Crane & Co website. If the mother has remarried, she's titled "Mrs." with the new husband's name afterward, while if she hasn't remarried, she's titled "Mrs." with her first, maiden and married names following this.

New Partner Problems

    It's possible that in some extreme cases, the potential presence of a mother's or father's new partner might be enough to cause the other parent to announce that he or she isn't coming to the wedding. In this case, common sense dictates that a good first step is simply to try to talk through the issues with the involved parties. As the Frugal Bride website suggests, as a last resort, the wedding couple can simply not invite the new partner in question if such an invite is going to cause serious problems on the day.

Reception Invites

    While it's not proper to indicate who's paying for a wedding via the invites to the service, as noted by the Crane & Co website, if there's a need to point out who's footing the bill, this can be done via the reception invites. These secondary invites are also a good place to mention stepfathers and stepmothers, by convention omitted from the service invites.

Service Seating

    During the service, you can seat both divorced parents close to the front, but have the father sitting in the second row, behind the mother who's in the front row, as suggested by the Frugal Bride website. Alternatively you might organize other guests as a "buffer zone" between them, if such seating isn't possible.

Dinner Seating

    When it comes to the dining tables at the reception, you'll need to consider who sits where. As the typical wedding reception features one long high table that seats the wedding party, as noted by the County Bride website, you should look to organize the seating so that neither divorced parent is seated too close to each other, yet both are reasonably close to their child, whether that's the bride or groom. If one parent has remarried, or both have, the conventional seating plan will have the new partner seated at the same end of the table as their spouse, though not necessarily next to them.
Wedding Etiquette for Stepparents
Stepparent wedding etiquette guides them on how to behave and conduct themselves at the weddings of their stepchildren. According to St. Louis Healthy Families, a non-profit agency serving the St. Louis Community, nearly 50 percent of marriages in the U.S are a remarriage for at least one partner. Proper behavior by stepparents at weddings ensures that the bride and groom will not have to grapple with family conflict on their special day.


    Wedding etiquette usually requires stepparents to take a back seat in wedding ceremonies in favor of the biological parents. For instance, although the bride usually chooses where the stepparents sit at the wedding, stepparents should ideally sit next to or behind the biological parents. Moreover, the stepmother should dress like other mothers in the ceremony and not in a manner that overshadows the attire of the biological mother.


    Stepparents participate in the wedding ceremony, although proper wedding etiquette demands that they do not dictate wedding decisions. In special arrangements, common wedding etiquette allows both the biological father and the stepfather to hand over the bride to the groom by walking her down the aisle. Stepparents also participate in the photo session. Couples will take two sets of pictures that feature both the stepparents and biological parents.


    Stepparents' roles during wedding planning include tying up last-minute details in the planning of the wedding, running errands for the couple or wedding attendants and lending moral support for the couple. Notable roles for stepparents who are close to the couple include contributing to candle lighting during the ceremony, making a toast and having the first dance at the reception.


    Stepparents must be civil and respectful to the biological parents and the guests to avoid any potential upsets that can cause embarrassments. If the bride prefers her stepfather to walk her down the aisle rather than her biological father, proper wedding etiquette calls for the stepparents to inform the biological parents about the arrangement before the wedding day.


    Stepparent wedding etiquette requires stepparents to consider and show regard to the biological parents and current family dynamics. Mutual respect and cooperation ensures both sets of parents are civil to each other and that they play their part in making the wedding a joyous occasion.
Wedding Invitation Etiquette for a Widow
Addressing a wedding invitation to a widow can be difficult for many who are worried about either offending or saddening the recipient. There is a basic etiquette that outlines how one should deal with the situation. However, in the end it comes to common sense and your judgment based on your relationship with the widow and the length of time that has elapsed since the death of her husband.

Outer Envelope

    Proper etiquette holds that on formal invitations, such as a wedding invitation, widows must be addressed with their deceased husband's full name regardless of the amount of time that has elapsed from his death. Therefore, the name on the outer envelope should read, "Mrs. Daren Thompson." Many, however, feel that addressing a woman by her husband's full name, whether deceased or not, is sexist and outdated. In that case, the outer envelope can be addressed with the widow's first name, "Mrs. Kristine Thompson."

Inner Envelope

    All first names are left off the inner envelope. Therefore it should read "Mrs. Thompson." If you are allowing all single invites to bring a guest to the ceremony and/or reception, write "Mrs. Thompson and Guest."

With Children

    Children are generally left off the outer envelope and added only on the inner if they are invited. An inner envelope inviting a widow and her children should read "Mrs. Thompson" on one line, followed by a second line stating "Lily, Peter and Carol." The children's names should be listed in order of age.
    If you are inviting a child who is over 18 yet lives in the same household, send two separate invitations one for the widowed mother and the second for the adult child. Address all adult children on the same invitation, such as "Misses Tara and Tanya Thompson" on the outer envelope, and "The Misses Thompson and Guests" on the inner. Use Miss and Mr. for only one adult child, and use Messrs. for multiple male adult children.

Name Plate

    Placesettings at the dining tables in the reception are also at times difficult to navigate. Placesettings can either be formal or informal depending on your personal preference. At small weddings, only first names are commonly used on the placesettings. However, if there are guests with the same name, such as three Saras, it can get complicated. You can either name each place setting as the guest's first and last names only, or with a title in front of it. "Kristine Thompson" and "Mrs. Kristine Thompson" both are appropriate name plate settings. The choice must be consistent with all of the name plates.


    If a widow has legally changed her name back to her maiden name, you must respect their actions. In such cases, "Miss (or Ms.) Kristine Archer" should be used rather than Mrs. and her married name.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Now that you're almost finished planning your wedding, you want to make sure that all the ceremony participants are aware of the etiquette that is expected of them. Certain courtesies and formalities are the responsibility of the wedding processional; going over these rules with your wedding party will help to ensure that your special day is even more memorable.

Mothers of the Bride and Groom

    In traditional Christian weddings, the mothers of the bride and groom are separately escorted down the aisle by an usher before the ceremony begins. The women should be to the left of the usher, and if they are wearing corsages, these should be placed on the left shoulder. The mothers are usually the first of the wedding processional to be escorted down the aisle.

Fathers of the Bride and Groom

    The father of the groom is usually seated before the mothers enter the wedding site. Parents of the couple getting married should be seated on the first two rows of the chapel or church. The bride's father usually escorts her down the aisle, and is positioned outside of the church to the right of the bride before entering the ceremony. If the bride has chosen to walk down the aisle alone, or with her groom, the father of the bride should be seated with the groom's father before the wedding begins.

The Groom and Groomsmen

    After the parents of the bride and groom have entered the ceremony, the groom walks down the aisle, with his best man by his side. The groom may also come from the side or front of the church, in order to walk directly to the podium and stand next to the officiant. The remainder of the groomsmen should take their places behind the best man. Usually, when the groom enters, the music changes, signaling that the rest of the wedding party, and the bride, are preparing to come in.

Bridesmaids, Flower Girls and Ring Bearers

    After the groomsmen are positioned at the front of the church, the first bridesmaid should enter. It is best for the second bridesmaid to wait until the woman before her is halfway down the aisle before entering. Some brides choose to have the bridesmaids escorted by ushers, which is acceptable as well. The maid or matron of honor is the last to come into the wedding chapel, and she is followed by the ring bearer and the flower girl (or girls). Once the flower girls have decorated the aisle with petals, it is time for the bride to come in.

The Bride

    The bride traditionally enters the ceremony with her father. She is positioned to the left of him. The music changes when the bride comes into the wedding, and she walks slower than any other member of the wedding processional. Once the bride reaches the front of the church, her father gives her away by placing her hand in the groom's; some fathers choose to kiss their daughters on the cheek or hug them before giving the bride to the groom.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Wedding Invitation Etiquette for Divorced Parents
When you are putting together all of those details for your big wedding day, the invitation is one of the most important components that you need to do with the proper etiquette. Traditionally, the bride's parents are considered the hosts of the wedding and are listed together on the invitation, but in our modern society wording has evolved for various family situations. If your parents are divorced, use the proper etiquette to list them on the invitation, based on their situation.

Parents Divorced, Neither Remarried

    If your parents are divorced, but neither have remarried, yet both are hosting the event, then both parents should be listed at the top of the invitation. Use your mother's maiden name to avoid any confusion. List each parent on a separate line, with the father typically listed first. An example would be:
    "Mr. John Smith and
    Ms. Jane Doe
    request the honor of your presence..."
    This keeps it clear that both parents are sharing the hosting duties, but separates them so that the situation of their divorce is known.

Parents Divorced, One Remarried

    If your parents have divorced, yet only one of them has remarried, then you should list the remarried couple first. Use full names, and use your mother's new married name or maiden name, whichever is most appropriate. An example would be:
    "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and
    Ms. Anne Brown
    request the honor of your presence..."
    Be sensitive to the parent who has not remarried. If she would be more comfortable having her name listed first, then you should do so. Of course, if your mother is remarried, and your father is single, then you should list your mother and stepfather's name first, and then your father on a separate line.

Parents Divorced, Both Remarried

    If your parents have both remarried after their divorce, then you can list all of the parties involved, with the father of the bride coming first. It is a matter of preference whether you decide to use and Mr. & Mrs. format, or if you would rather use full names. If your mother is remarried, then she has likely changed her last name, so it would be appropriate to use her first name so that it is clearer to guests.
    "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and
    Jane and Tom Brown
    request the honor of your presence..."
Wedding Etiquette for a Blended Family
A wedding is an emotional time, and if you're trying to figure out how to accommodate parents who have divorced, step-parents, stepchildren and/or your own exes, it can be a logistical nightmare. Fortunately, blended families are everywhere these days, so there are protocols to use when you don't know what else to do. By using the proper etiquette for the given situation, it's easier to avoid unintentionally insulting one or more of your wedding guests.

How to Word the Invitations

    If your parents are divorced, the etiquette regarding how the invitations read depends on who is paying for the wedding. If one set (for example, the bride's father) is paying, the invitations would read "Mr. (and Mrs., if he has remarried) Joe Smith request the honor of your presence/pleasure of your company." If the bride's parents are divorced and they are paying for the wedding together, it would read "Mr. Joe Smith and Mrs. Sue Jones" (with no mention of any stepparents). If both sets of parent couples are friendly and hosting the wedding together, write, "Mr. and Mrs. Joe Smith and Mr. and Mrs. Bill Jones."

If Your Parents are Divorced and Friendly

    If the bride or groom was raised in a blended family, then you will have two separate families to accommodate in your wedding party. How you do this will depend a great deal on how your parents get along. If they have remained friendly and you are close to both of them, then plan to include them and any step-parents in the ceremony somehow---the bride's father could walk her down the aisle, for example, and her stepfather could read a blessing. Both sets of parents can sit with their spouses or dates in the front pew, and the stepmother would be the first mother escorted down the aisle; the mother is the last down before the wedding party. Ask siblings and step-siblings alike to be your attendants.

If Your Parents are Divorced and Hostile

    If your parents do not get along, or if one of them has had difficulty accepting their ex's new partner, you will have some decisions to make. A parent's role in a wedding is determined by their relationship to the bride or groom, so the parent to whom you are the closest should sit in the front pew, with your grandparents on their side occupying the second pew and your other parent sitting in the third pew. If one of your parents really cannot stand one of your step-parents, etiquette dictates that the step-parent should sit near the back of the church with a trusted friend. Have some heart-to-heart talks with these adults in your life---it will go a long way toward preventing hard feelings.

Blending Your Own Families

    If one or both of you have children, you will be forming not only a new marriage but a new family. It is entirely appropriate and proper to mention this in your wedding ceremony. Ask your officiant to add a section mentioning the children, if you like, and if the children themselves approve of the idea, they too can take "vows" promising to do their best to make a happy home with their new family without abandoning the old one.

Including Your Children in the Ceremony

    One way to blend your children into a new family from the beginning is to include them in the wedding planning and the wedding party. They can be maids of honor and bridesmaids, best men and groomsmen or flower girls and ring bearers, depending on their ages. You could make a ceremony of lighting a unity candle together or give them tokens (such as lockets or watches engraved with the date) as symbols of your promise to love and protect them. Make sure you know what the children are comfortable with, and assure them that you do not expect them to stop loving their other parent just because they have another family now too.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Church Wedding Etiquette
So you are ready to tie the knot, and you want to have a church wedding. In order to make this day truly special, you should know a few guidelines when it comes to church wedding etiquette. Follow and share them with the people in your wedding so that everybody is on the same page and there are not any unpleasant surprises.

Seating Arrangements

    In Christian weddings, family and friends of the bride sit on the left side of the church, while the right side is reserved for the groom's guests. Your ushers will seat your guests. Advise them to be at the church early so they can seat everybody comfortably as guests arrive.
    In Jewish weddings, the sides are switched.
    If one side is much more crowded than the other, it is acceptable to seat guests in the less crowded pews.
    Parents of the bride and groom should sit in their respective first rows Special guests and close family members are also expected to occupy the front rows.


    There are different variations for the processional. The groom and best man usually wait at the altar and watch the groomsmen and the bridesmaids walk down the aisle. They are followed by the maid of honor, who is in turn followed by the flower girl and ring bearer. The bride comes down the aisle last, traditionally on her father's left arm or on the arm of a close male relative. She can also walk to the front by herself.
    If you have many groomsmen and and bridesmaids it is best to pair them up.

Best Man and Maid of Honor

    Put your best man and maid of honor to work. While the best man is supposed to hold the rings until the groom and bride exchange them, the maid of honor should check on the bride's dress and/or train, flowers and veil to be sure that everything sits neatly.

Engagement Ring -- Where Does It Go?

    The bride should be sure her engagement ring is on her right hand before the ceremony. Later she should shift it to her left hand above the wedding band. The wedding band is worn first, so it can be closer to your heart.


    The bride and groom leave the church first, followed by flower girl and ring bearer or the best man and maid of honor. Then it is the bridesmaids' and groomsmen's turn. Behind them come the mother of the bride with the groom's father and then the father of the bride with the groom's mother.
    Expect the first round of congratulations outside the church. However, do not spend too much time there after the service so your guests have a shorter waiting period at the reception.

Dress Rehearsal

    Usually, there will be a dress rehearsal at the church the evening before the big day. This helps to go over the ceremony with everyone involved. But don't worry about perfecting every step. There is always the opportunity to improvise. Besides, there will be plenty of helpers around you on your wedding day.

Important to Know

    Some churches do not like brides to expose their shoulders. It is best to check on what is expected with the official who will be conducting the ceremony. Have him answer any additional questions you may have about the wedding. Remember: these people have lots of experience with weddings so do not feel shy about asking anything that comes to your mind.
No Kids Allowed Wedding Etiquette
Children can sometimes create noisy distractions at weddings. They often don't care for the food at receptions, yet because they require seats, the bride and groom must pay for their meals. There are polite ways to ask people not to bring their children to a wedding. The key is to do it without hurting anyone's feelings.


    "Save the Date" cards are popular options for alerting friends and family members of your upcoming wedding. These are a perfect way to first introduce the concept of a "no kids allowed" wedding ceremony and reception. Mention on your "Save the Date" cards that this will be an "adults only" affair, and that you hope this ample notice will allow for plenty of time to secure babysitters or make appropriate arrangements. Because "Save the Date" cards are often sent up to a year before the event, this allows parents plenty of time to prepare.
    While you might not get the results you hope for, you can attempt to simply pass the notion of "no children allowed" via word of mouth.


    Regardless of what your "Save the Date" cards say, you're bound to have at least one or two people call you or ask you in person, "Would it be okay if Susie comes to the wedding? You know she always behaves." While this is inappropriate for people to ask, it won't stop everyone. You need to have a line rehearsed that you and your bride or groom will stick to no matter what.
    "We all deserve some adult time every now and then," you might say. "We thought our wedding would be the perfect event for the adults to let loose and not have any obligations."
    Or how about "We love the kids and hope we can get together and visit soon. But we've opted for adults only at the wedding and reception."


    Announce your intentions one last time when you send your wedding invitations. Whether it is printed directly on your invitation or on the RSVP card, you might opt for one of the following options.
    "No children, please."
    "Adults only, please."
    "No children under 16, please." This one can state any age you wish. If noise and inappropriate behavior is your only concern, consider allowing children ages 12 and up to attend the wedding.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Invitation Etiquette for a No Children Wedding
Despite the fact that not wanting children at a wedding is fairly commonplace, many people have issues with how to communicate this request. Some are extremely reluctant to even ask, for fear of sounding rude or offending some guests.

Polite Wording

    Avoid a terse "No Children!" on the invites. Better options include putting "Adult-Only Ceremony and Reception" on your invitations, or stating on your RSVP cards that it will be an adult reception. To reemphasize the point, say "We've reserved __seats in your honor," indicating only the adults in the number.

The Details

    Briefly explaining your reasoning may help guests understand your request. "As no daycare is available at the wedding, we ask that parents make other arrangements for their children," or "To cut down on costs, we are having an adult-only reception," or "Because of the late hour, we ask that no children be brought to the reception."

Kid Care

    One way to allow parents to enjoy your event is to provide babysitting. Mention in the invitation that children must be taken to the daycare provided as the wedding and/or reception is adult-only. Set up a room where the wedding is being held or the home of a family member or friend near the location as a nursery/childcare area. Hire a professional sitter or recruit some family members to watch the children for several hours.

Be Specific

    To avoid any miscommunication, clearly state what you mean by "children." Some parents may assume that older kids are all right, while you may want no one under legal drinking age in attendance. Some couples may be fine with children over the age of 12 or 13 who don't need round-the-clock supervision. Be sure to specify the age limit in your invitations. Also, clearly state whether children cannot attend only the reception or both the wedding and the reception.

Request Reinforcement

    Inevitably, some people will assume that, despite your request, bringing their kids will be OK. Thus, it never hurts to give a friendly reminder. A week or two before the big day, call or e-mail all guests who have RSVP'd and who are parents to tactfully remind that you're having a no-children wedding and to offer the babysitting services other parents are using if you're not providing childcare yourself. Be firm to ensure that everyone plans to respect your wishes on your wedding day.
Stepfamily Wedding Etiquette
When you are the child of divorced parents and one or both of them has remarried, you can face some complications on your wedding day. Couples should try to incorporate their step-parents into their wedding day. Besides being proper etiquette, it will make your celebration inclusive and heartwarming.

Your Step-Parent's Role

    Dr. Jann Blackstone-Ford, a divorce and stepfamily mediator, cautions that unless your biological parent is out of the picture, your step-parent should take a backseat role in planning. You should turn to your biological parents first for wedding advice before asking a step-parent's opinion.


    According to Wedding Basics, if both of the bride's parents are remarried, and they are both hosting the event, list the mother and stepfather first followed by the father and stepmother on the second line.

Seating Arrangements

    Peggy Post states that you should seat your mother and stepfather in the first pew, next to your father and stepmother if they have a friendly relationship. Otherwise, seat your father and stepmother two rows behind your mother.

Walking Down the Aisle

    Post adds that sometimes the bride may feel closer to her stepfather and want him to walk her down the aisle. She suggests having both fathers walk the bride down the aisle, but if that is not an option, be honest with your biological father promptly.


    Blackstone-Ford states that step-parents should appear in all pictures with their spouses, unless it is just a father-daughter shot. Communicate your wishes to your photographer and your family.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Military Wedding Invitation Etiquette
Military wedding etiquette shares many of the same guidelines as other types of weddings. Differences between military wedding invitations and civilian wedding invitations lie in the use of titles and ranks, and identifying branches of service. Other etiquette considerations include which officers to invite, seating of officers, and other traditions to incorporate into the ceremony and reception.

Use of Military Rank

    Include the ranks of military personnel if either the bride or groom is a member of the military. Follow this same guide if the wedding host or any of the brides or grooms parents are members of the military. For senior officers, the rank appears in front of the name; for junior officers, rank appears below the name. Exclude the rank if the individual is enlisted personnel in the military. Never abbreviate military titles; spell out the rank on the invitation.

Branches of Service

    The branches of military service are included on the wedding invitation regardless of the rank (officer or enlisted personnel). The branch appears on the line below the persons rank and name. The branch is spelled out in its entirety, including the phrase United States (e.g., United States Air Force). If the military personnel member is retired, this is indicated after the branch of service (e.g., United States Air Force, Retired).

Invitation Wording

    Military wedding invitation styles follow the same patterns as civilian weddings. The wedding hosts, traditionally the bride's parents, appear first, followed by the bride then groom and his parents. If either parent is an officer in the military, use the appropriate rank. However when an officer's name appears with a spouse's name, the branch of military service is not included; identify only the military rank. If the bride and groom are hosting their own wedding, use their rank and branch of service.

Addressing Envelopes

    If invited guests are members of the military, the recipients ranks are included. Address the outside envelope using complete names and spell out the military rank. Do not use abbreviations on the outside envelope. Abbreviations are used on the inner envelope; however, the military rank is not abbreviated. The branch of military service does not appear on either of the envelopes.

Other Aspects

    For military weddings, the couples commanding officer and spouse receive an invitation to the wedding. Other staff officers and their spouses are also invited. Commanding officers and spouses are seated with the family or in the rows immediately behind the family. If the parents of either the bride or groom are not in attendance, the commanding officer and spouse are seated in the first row or pew.
Double Wedding Etiquette
For some couples, there's no better way to spend the most special day of their lives than sharing the spotlight with another couple. When planned thoughtfully and creatively, double weddings offer twice the celebration and heartwarming qualities of traditional weddings. While there are few strict etiquette guidelines about double weddings, observing general etiquette and manners will ensure a stress-free wedding that suits everyone's needs.


    Whether the brides are sisters, the grooms are friends or any other double wedding arrangement, both couples and anyone else involved in the planning, such as parents or wedding planners, need to agree on key areas such as the budget, theme, duties and responsibilities of the various parties and the procedures. One idea is for the couples to write lists of their favorite ideas and the details they envision and compare the two, noting overlapping themes. In some areas they can choose to blend ideas. For instance, one bride chooses the color scheme while the other chooses the motif.

Invitations and Guest List

    For most double weddings, the guest list features many mutual friends. However, the couples need to ensure that their most important (non-mutual) guests are included. Invitations will also need to clearly address the nature of the double wedding. If the brides are sisters, it's customary to send joint invitations. However, the couples may choose to send joint or individual invitations to each set of friends and family.

Attendants and Attire

    For the sake of balance, each couple should have the same number of attendants. To cut down on the size of the bridal party, the brides and grooms may wish to share a single flower girl or ring bearer. Typically, brides wear gowns that complement each other's gowns without looking exactly alike. Bridesmaids and groomsmen can wear matching outfits or different outfits in the same colors. Jewelry and shoes also offer chances to personalize the outfits.


    If the brides are sisters, the groom and attendants enter in pairs and take their places at the altar or the front of the venue. The oldest sister then walks down the aisle. After she has arrived at the altar, the younger sister follows. Some couples choose to have the father escort both brides at once. For brides who are not sisters, the couples should consult beforehand and choreograph the procession. Traditionally the older bride goes first in any situation.
    Couples choose between a joint officiant or two separate ones. The officiant reads the vows, then pauses for each couple to answer separately. The newly married couples are announced simultaneously and each pair kisses at the same time. If there are personalized vows or two officiants, the couples should take turn reading the vows. After the pronouncements, the couples either leave the venue together or in the same order they entered.

Gifts and Reception

    If guests know both couples, they typically bring two gifts. However, they are not obligated to bring a present for the couple they do not know. Since it's generally a faux pas to mention gifts on the invitations, ask family and friends to spread the word, or invite guests to call with questions.
    At the reception, receiving lines can be joint or separate, depending on the size of the guest list and which is more efficient. Usually, each couple has a separate wedding cake, although they may be smaller than traditional cakes.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Indian Wedding Etiquette
Indian weddings offer guests a riot of color and celebration, packed with people, food and a wealth of traditions. Steeped in cultural and religious importance, Indian weddings contain much symbolic meaning. Though some of the ceremony may seem more like silliness than seriousness, having the proper etiquette matters.


    Traditional dress for women means a sari--a six-foot-long cloth, worn draped over a floor length skirt, or petticoat, and a midriff-baring top. suggests choosing a colorful sari, but not white and black, as they indicate mourning, or red, the traditional color for the bride. Accessorize with plenty of bangles for a festive look. Men can wear anything from an achkan, a long coat which hangs to the knees, worn with pants, to a standard black suit.
    Even if the wedding doesn't require traditional dress, modesty matters for the ceremony itself, as it shows respect. That means covered shoulders and no plunging necklines. Sometimes guests must sit on the floor, making short skirts a bad idea. A place of religious importance might require the removal of shoes. Sacred ceremonies sometimes require a covering the head with a scarf, shawl or wrap, reports


    The Kwintessential website says money remains a popular gift, and amounts ending in the number one can signify luck. Indian gift shops often have envelopes for giving money, with coins as decoration. Gift giving matters, but the spirit of the gift more so than the gift itself, so no gift recycling.

The Ceremony

    The main portion of the long ceremony takes place next to agni, the holy fire. The Saptapadi, explains, formalizes the marriage as the bride and groom take seven steps around the fire and recite their vows, bringing the ceremony to an end. Because of the sanctity of the ceremony, many venues ban photography, to avoid the disruption caused by the flash.


    Indian weddings allow and even encourage guests to talk to other guests during the ceremony, an important venue for socializing. Indians usually view guests enjoying themselves as blessing the union. Indian weddings, often quite large in size, can make it difficult for the couple to find everyone, so guests should present themselves briefly to the bride and groom. Men shouldn't expect to kiss or dance with the bride--she will act demure in honor of her new husband.


    Food plays a vital role in Indian weddings, where you'll find Indian cuisine at its best. As some Indian families practice vegetarianism, the wedding fare might not contain meat. Depending on the family's religious beliefs, they might not serve alcohol. reports that some weddings serve food on banana leaves, for guests to eat it with their hands. As with most aspects of the wedding, eating the food shows guests' approval of the wedding and their best wishes for the bride and groom.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Wedding Etiquette for Deceased Parents
A wedding is a time for celebration, and it should be a joyous occasion. If you have a deceased parent, you have another important person that you want to be there in spirit. Including a deceased parent is a tricky situation because people want to be overjoyed and not mourning at a wedding. Follow simple rules of wedding etiquette about deceased parents, and keep your wedding running smoothly.

A Widowed Female's Last Name

    Address a widowed female correctly on the wedding invitation envelopes, and if she is the host of the wedding, type her name correctly on the wedding invitations. According to Crane's, a widow would remain Mrs. Andrew Forrester, for example. Use a widower's married last name unless she is remarried. If she is remarried, use her current last name. Do not refer to a widow with her maiden name under any circumstances.

Including a Deceased Parent on the Invitation

    Decide whether to include your deceased parent on the wedding invitation. According to Marry Customs, many couples are deciding to veer from tradition and show respect to deceased parents on the invitation. Etiquette rules state that a deceased parent should not be included on the wedding invitation because the names on the invitation demonstrate who is hosting the wedding. If you choose not to include the deceased parent's name on the invitation, there are other methods to include him or her.

Honoring the Deceased Parent During the Ceremony

    Think of methods to honor the deceased parent during the ceremony. According to The Knot, you can honor a deceased parent by providing a moment of silence or a prayer in his honor. If you want to honor him without making a public statement, you can wear something personal that reminds you of him. The method you choose to honor him is a choice that is individual to your sentiments and your family's customs.

Giving the Bride Away

    Find a relative to give the bride away if her father passed away before the wedding. According to The Knot, a close uncle or the mother are ideal choices if the bride wants someone to walk with her. The bride can also walk alone if she is confident not to have an escort. The decision of who will give the bride away is significantly personal to the bride. She should make her final decision of who will escort her without pressure about who to choose.

Mentioning the Deceased at the Reception

    Mention the deceased parent during a reception speech to let the guests understand that someone important is not present. The bride or groom do not have to give a speech, especially if speaking about a deceased parent is too upsetting. If a groomsman or bridesmaid in the bridal party met the deceased parent, he or she may be the ideal person to mention the significance of the deceased parent to the bride or groom.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

There comes a time when the any couple decides to commit themselves to one another and express this by getting married. Along with family and friends, all those who care for them share their wedding day.

Proper wedding etiquette is required for different aspects of the wedding. From taking care of the invitations, to the transportation, reception details, location and the church, everything has a corresponding proper wedding etiquette to follow.

The Engagement:

Proper wedding etiquette should already be observed during the engagement. The news should be announced to immediate family first. A gathering of both families should be arranged. Proper wedding etiquette dictates that if either one has not met each other’s parents; they should break the news to one family at a time.

As for friends, the proper wedding etiquette is to announce to them personally after the family.

The Wedding Preparations:

The wedding theme is the first thing the couple must agree upon since all the details following it will be affected. If the couple chooses a beach wedding, proper wedding etiquette says that everything will be patterned after that. There are wedding planners who can coordinate everything for the couple and is a great help for the bride and groom in organizing their special day.

The question of when and where the wedding will be held is an important topic to consider. The couple must also decide what kind of ceremony they want to have. Will it be a church wedding or a civil one? The proper wedding etiquette is to consult the religious preference of the couple. Sometimes even if they share the same religion, a couple can still insist on the informality of a civil wedding.

The location for the reception is the next thing to decide on. As proper wedding etiquette, the couple must be considerate of the guests. Proper wedding etiquette dictates that the reception area should be close to the wedding location so that the guests and the couple won’t be too tired when they get there.

Transportation is another factor to consider. Apart from the bridal car, it is proper wedding etiquette to provide for those who have no cars from the wedding location to the reception area. The couple can ask guests beforehand on who will bring their own transportation so they can estimate how many automobiles they will have to hire for the group.

The Reception Details:

Of course, a big part of this event is the reception. Even though the atmosphere is more informal, one cannot forget the proper wedding etiquette of having a program. It should really be about the couple, wishes from their family and guests, a time for gratitude and a celebration of the new life ahead for the newlyweds.

The menu, cake, table d├ęcor, centerpieces, sound system, and entertainment should be arranged months beforehand. The proper wedding etiquette is to follow the allotted time frame for each element. All of this will entirely depend on the couple’s taste and budget.

The Dresses:

Proper wedding etiquette for any traditional wedding is a white gown for the bride and a favored color for the bridesmaids, entourage and sponsors. However, times have changed and other color palettes are now available for the bride.

The groom and groomsmen usually do not have trouble with their clothes since they wear what is appropriate to the theme and whatever the couple has decided on for the design.<br><br>

The Budget:

All this preparation will go to waste if the couple cannot provide for any of the wedding items. As proper wedding etiquette, the question of who will pay for what is divided between the bride and groom’s family.

Traditionally, the proper wedding etiquette is for the bride’s family to pay for the reception costs, the church fees, the groom’s rings, the invitations, flowers for the ceremony and reception, music, transportation and lodging for the bride’s party. The groom’s side takes care of the rehearsal dinner, the bride’s ring, clergy or officiator’s fee the bride’s bouquet the flowers for the entourage, transportation and lodging for the groom’s party.

Nowadays, a couple can decide what obligations they will handle. But the proper wedding etiquette is to share the expenses, as this will be the sign of their future together.

It is tough job to handle all the wedding details but proper wedding etiquette must be observed at all times. Sometime we tend to forget these simple but very important gestures. We must realize that by following proper wedding etiquette, we help make the event more elegant and memorable.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Learn About Victorian Wedding Etiquette
Thanks to educated Victorians with their lustrous names, intelligence and writing abilities, they have passed on to us what a mannered person should do in all social situations. In the 1870's to 1880's there were at more than sixty (60) etiquette books that were published of which includes Victorian wedding etiquette. These Victorian wedding etiquette became popular before and are still popular in these days.

Victorian wedding etiquette focuses on manners, culture and dress before, during and after the wedding ceremony and reception. Victorians also have etiquette rules on courtship and engagement.

--  Victorian Wedding Etiquette on Marriage Ceremony

For Victorians, the marriage ceremony varies with the fortunes, desires and wishes of the wedding parties. According to Victorian Wedding Etiquette, a bride and couple may have a very lavish and expensive wedding if they can afford it or they can have a small gathering of closest family and friends celebrating the wedding with them.

As to the form of right, Victorians have no specific directions as to how the wedding rite should be done, but they should follow rules of their churches of the proper wedding rite.

Victorians who are to be married by their ministers, wedding etiquette calls them to study the form or proper wedding rite of their particular church. For Victorians who will be married in a Methodist church should study Book of Discipline. Episcopalian Victorians, on the other hand should read the Book of Common Prayer. Catholic Victorians are invoked to know the basic Ritual in a Catholic Wedding Celebration.

In Victorian wedding etiquette, couples must do wedding rehearsals. The rehearsal of the ceremony is always made in private. Victorians believe that  with this way, the bride and groom and the wedding parties could understand better the necessary forms and rites.

--  Victorian Wedding Etiquette General Rules

Victorians have general rules in wedding etiquette. They are interesting to learn and to note especially if you are planning to have a Victorian wedding theme.

Bridesmaids and groomsmen are expected to assist in the preparation of the wedding and even during the wedding especially if the wedding is not private. Wealthy Victorians held weddings for public and with many guests that were expected to attend (even from nearby towns), the hired help won't be able to accommodate the guests.

Although this seems funny nowadays, but Victorian wedding etiquette is clear on this matter: bridesmaids should be younger, yes you read it right, younger than the bride. If you have an older sister who you love you dearly, you won't be able to make her a bridesmaid if you were born during the time of the Victorians.

Victorian wedding etiquette on bridesmaids clothing is also peculiar. Bridesmaids should wear dresses that look like that of the bride. It was believed before (even before the time of the Victorians) that a devil is on the loose everytime there is a wedding. This devil is tasked to kidnap the bride, take her away from her groom, and take her virginity from her. So, bridesmaids are selected, those that look like the bride, younger or of her age, and must dress the way she dresses so as to confuse the devil who should be taken.

The material for bridesmaids wedding dresses are usually light and flowing fabric that allows graceful gait, and must have lots of ornament. Dresses should not be necessarily expensive.

The bridesmaids should assist the bride (thus the name brides' MAID) in dressing her, receiving company, holding her things, etc. They should stand at the brides left side, with the first bridesmaid or the maid of honor holding the gloves and bouquet.

As for the groomsmen, he should receive the clergyman and present to him the couple to be married. The first groomsman or the best man should stand upon the right side of the groom during the ceremony.

Victorian wedding etiquette has not been changed much. They are still the basic wedding etiquette that we have today. We can follow Victorian wedding etiquette's general rule as is without looking or making ourselves outrageous. Some of Victorian wedding etiquette are just bent a bit, such as a wedding dress, to accommodate the wishes and desires of the bride or the groom or of a relative special to the hearts of the couple.
Wedding Thank You Note To Guests
After the wedding is over and the hot steamy honey moon is almost done, you will have to pause and think about the people who showed up to your wedding day.

Thinking of those people will never be sufficient. Adhering to wedding etiquettes, you should appreciate them and show your appreciation through a material token.

That is where thank you notes come into the picture. Wedding experts and society or lifestyle gurus advise married couples to send out tokens of appreciation or simple thank you notes to their wedding guests at least two weeks after the event.

Thank you notes should or must be sent especially for those friends or guests who showed up with wedding gifts. Wedding etiquette will also have you send thank you notes to people who were not able to come to the wedding, but sent in their gifts, or even to people you have invited but did not show up at all and did not even bother to buy you any gift.

To outdo wedding etiquettes, it would be better if the couple will send out personalized thank you notes. If it would not be too expensive, thank you notes bearing pictures of the couple with the particular guest would be a really, really good gesture of sincere appreciation.

It is not against wedding etiquettes to buy thank you note templates, but be sure to personalize it by adding your personal hand written notes of appreciation. Some couples also prepare thank you notes along with wedding invitations to save time and money.

When you opt to do this, just be sure you order enough or plenty of extra copies to so you will never run out in case too many people show up.

Etiquette when writing thank you notes

A couple of do’s and don’ts will help you get away from troubles that may arise in writing wedding thank you notes. It is not enough that you show up efforts to sincerely thank and appreciate the presence and gifts accorded to your romantic wedding.

Wedding etiquettes have it that thank you notes should be written appropriately. Even the paper used for the notes should be written on white or ivory-colored paper. Some couple prefer to have their thank you notes monogrammed, but others feel its just okay if everything is handwritten.

Here are some guidelines that adhere to wedding etiquettes when it comes to sending out thank you notes:

  • Remember to send thank you notes to relatives and people who coordinated showers and parties for the both of you. It would be okay if you thank them for the efforts within the same card sent to them for their gifts.
  • Wedding etiquettes suggest that you appreciate each gift you have received. That means each and every gift should be recognized through its own thank you note. If a person sent you two gifts, for example, send two thank you notes for each gift. The same treatment should be given to gifts received during the shower or even stag party.
  • Advanced wedding gifts or gifts that arrived before the wedding you must be immediately responded to so you will never have the chance to forget sending out thank you notes for them.
  • It might be time and money saving, but it is not advisable to send out preprinted thank you notes. Sending preprinted cards will give the person receiving the thank you note the impression that his or her effort or gift was not totally appreciated.
  • Personalize your thank you note by handwriting the message. Warm but short thank you notes are better than longer but non-personalized or insincere notes.
  • Write your thank you note message in blue or black ink. It is for the simple reason that the colors are far more readable.
  • It is in accordance to proper wedding etiquettes that you put or include your new return address on every thank you note you have sent. The recipients will greatly appreciate the gesture if he or she is informed or posted of your new and correct address.
  • Never start the thank you note with the pronoun “I.” To create a good and lasting impression use “You” as often throughout the note instead of “I” or “me.”

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Simple And Small Wedding
An elegant and huge love in simple and small wedding is one of the most beautiful weddings that can be organized. The budget is not too high, the attendees are all relaxed and will likely have a good time and nuances such as children running around and making noise will be avoided. A wedding without too much frills makes sure that the love between the couple is the focus of the ceremony.

Etiquette in a simple and small wedding

Guests are only advised to wear clothes comfortable to them. A dress from a closet selection, a white one or even a sundress is appropriate for a small wedding. A bridesmaid can wear a white dress or even a pantsuit. The groom can go for khakis, or even jeans paired with a shirt and a sport coat.

A small wedding can be held in a community center, a local park or even your parents’ backyard. Holding ceremonies in a unique location such as a rooftop, a barn, an art gallery can clearly speak about the personalities of the couple.

Invitations in a small wedding can be handwritten on handmade paper. Send them like writing a note to a close friend. It is important to note that attendees should be in casual attire.

Simple bulbs such as hyacinths or tulips can serve as alternatives for floral flower arrangements. Using these will generate huge savings for the couple. Gerber diaries inserted in a flat container filled with wheat grass can serve as an attractive centerpiece.

The menu of a small wedding can be very diverse. A party can be set a few months before the wedding and the guests can be asked to bring their favorite recipes. The couple can choose their favorites and use them as wedding food. It is also good to acknowledge whose recipe it is by putting a label in front of every dish. Besides a party, a barbeque or picnic fare can be held.

Common retail stores such as Sears or Target can be used as gift registries. Couples can specify what they want to receive in order to avoid the usual gift of expensive China that will likely collect dust in a cabinet.

Costs, costs, costs

Tradition dictates that the bride’s parents are responsible for paying off the wedding regardless if it is small or big. However, expenses have become an issue due to the challenging times. The etiquette in requesting for money is by gathering both families and discussing how to share in the wedding expenses, as the couple will unlikely have enough to cover all of their needs.

The budget will be a major basis on what type of wedding will be held. The couple needs to meet with everyone who will be attending. However, the couple cannot force their parents to shell out money that is not available.

Couples can make various compromises if their budget falls short. For example, less expensive rings can be used. A more expensive replacement can be acquired in the future. Some couples do not even have wedding rings at all. Those living in a nice climate can have the reception at home and hire catering services. To help control costs, a butler can be tasked to pass around hors d’ oeuvres and refreshments.

The parents of the groom traditionally pay for the following items:

  • Boutonnieres for groom's attendants
  • The bride's bouquet
  • Officiate fee or donation
  • Rehearsal Dinner  
  • Lodging and transportation expenses of the rabbi or minister
  • Corsages for every family member
  • Transportation of the Groom and Best Man going to the wedding

Giving tips is a nice way of rewarding those that have given good service but it is not a requirement. A tip given to a minister can be seen as a gift for marrying the couple. Tips can be given to servers, drivers and musicians but still, this is not a requirement.

The etiquette in service fees

Couples should make sure that they are comfortable with the people that are helping in the wedding whether it is the wedding experts, the photographer and even the florists. They should share the same vision on how the wedding should come out and not merely focus on how much money will spent.

A couple may receive possibly the lowest price but if the rendered service does not meet what was promised, the value is useless, even if it is a small wedding.
Appropriate  Wedding Etiquette At Rehearsal Dinners
Most couples who are about to get married face the problem of staging a rehearsal dinner because they have no idea of the appropriate  wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners.

This articles hopes to provide some enlightenment to the couple regarding the appropriate wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinner. Enumerated below are some of the usual questions that couples ask regarding the appropriate  wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners.

Though rehearsal dinner planning is making couples go crazy, they need not worry, a few rules to observe is all they need before actually staging the rehearsal dinners.

The Guest List

Couples must remember that there are really no rules involved in staging a rehearsal dinner. The appropriate  wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners is as plain as the wedding day itself.

Firstly, the appropriate  wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners suggests that the couple choose wisely and pick out the members of their guest list. It is really up to them who they will invite.

The appropriate  wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners really has no restrictions as to how many the guests are. It can be simple as the couple only, can include their immediate families, and also those guests at their wedding party with their spouses or their significant others.

The appropriate  wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners also has no regulations on what a couple intends to lay-out a motif or theme for their rehearsal dinner. Either they make it a bash or they can invite all their out-of-town guests.

A rehearsal dinner is a very good chance or opportunity to be able to maximize what quality time that you have with your visiting friends and your relatives. appropriate  wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners suggest this as the most proper time to be able to chat with your friends and relatives, unlike the wedding day itself, rehearsal dinners give the couples more relaxing and quiet time.

The appropriate  wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners also advises couples not to worry about not having the proper surprise for them. The guests usually do not go to the actual ceremony rehearsal. The ceremony is usually for the wedding party and their parents.

The Fiance's Family

Sometimes, the family of a fiance has no idea that they are supposedly hosting the rehearsal dinner. Usually the parents can not afford all of it and still suggest the couple invite everyone to go to a catered party.

The appropriate  wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners are usually recommending that the family of the fiance shoulder all the expense for the rehearsal dinner. Most people are ignorant of this rule, however, they should be properly notified of this appropriate  wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners.

The appropriate  wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners also tells us that it is not advisable not to invite the families. The couple must note that no matter who or what they are, they are still the fiance's parents and will soon near enough be the in-laws.

No matter what they have done or they act. A couple must remind themselves to start off on the correct foot by giving out invitation to the fiance's family. Trouble might brew if they will not be included in the rehearsal dinner.

The appropriate  wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners suggest that though the fiance's parents does not realize that they are the ones who should be hosting the rehearsal dinner, its up to the couple to bring the subject up.

The couple can always opt to host the dinner themselves. The appropriate  wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners can remind them that the rehearsal dinner does not have to be a big rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal dinner can be as big as a take home pizza party or simple grilling burgers at the backyard.

The appropriate  wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners reminds couples to look at the situation as a possible way to kick back just before the wedding. The couple must instead concentrate on the family, on each other and the wedding party.

The appropriate  wedding etiquette at rehearsal dinners also can be said that rehearsal dinners are a good time to present the guests with the thank you gifts.

Instead on dwelling on what the parents might do during the rehearsal dinner, the couple must instead be happy that at this very special moment of their life, their families are together.